My baby outgrew her socks. (Like 3 weeks ago, but give me a break, I've been busy. I've been cooking this blog post for awhile!) I could handle it when i realized she'd outgrown her newborn clothes... I mean, she was a big baby, made sense she'd out grow her clothes fast. But Socks? How did she get big enough to out grow socks?? I can't handle it. She is NOT allowed to do that! So now she is in 3-6 months socks, and I refuse to believe she will outgrow these. She.will.not.
It was funny, as i discussed this horrible fact (sock-outgrowing) with a mom at church, she said it's funny how everything suddenly becomes precious. like socks. there is certainly nothing precious about B's socks, or my own socks.... but C's? her socks are soooooo precious! anything pint sized is precious. and even when i change her... okay, well, that isnt so precious! Seriously though, I've never been this nostalgic. Sure, I was a little sad to leave college, for example, but mostly excited to be moving forward. Same with moving to and back from Colorado... Even getting married, I wasn't NEARLY as emotional as being a Mother has made me. I'm such a sap now! I cry so much more easily. If you haven't read the book Love you, Forever, you should! But beware, you'll probably cry. It's a tad creepy, if you stop and think about it, but the sentiment is so sweet. When I read it to my little baby, (who, incidentally, is usually busy looking ANYWHERE but the book) I seriously cry. every.time. it's so sweet. The old me would've thought it was sweet, but wouldn't tear up. Now Mum must bring the tissues when she reads that book! (Thanks, Beth!)
As I watch her while she nurses, when we play on the change table (she LOVES being naked!), or when she's in her swing or bouncer, I wonder if I will always have this kind of love for her. I imagine I won't ALWAYS dote on her so adoringly... she WILL be a teenager someday, after all... Do our parents still look at us with that kind of love? Or is it different? Maybe someday I'll go back to this post and think, "yup, i still love you like that!" I hope so. (In the very least, I'll come back to this and think, "alright, you rotten teenager, I loved you like that once, I can do it again, as i ground you for life...").
My dad pointed out to me how amazing it is that the human race has survived....Human babies need parental care so much more than other mammals... I mean, after about 8 weeks or so, kittens, puppies... they can (for the most part) survive on their own. But human babies? I don't think a 5 week old would last too long on their own! Makes you wonder if evolution is a valid theory, when you look at it from that way... Personally, I think God made babies so adorable and our love for them so deep (truly, to an unfathomable depth is how much we love her!) so that we will wake up with them multiple times a night, walk hallways, bounce, whatever to get them to sleep...We will smile, talk in goofy voices about goofy things, all to elicit a beautiful smile. Truly, survival of the human race, in my opinion, is based in the deep love that is supernaturally given to us by God.
And when i was pondering THAT thought, I realized, and how much more my Heavenly Father must love me. He DOES look at me with that same adoring, unfathomable love that I have for C. But his love is even MORE deep and pure. While my love probably WILL fail C at sometime... sometime I probably will lose my patience with her... God's love for me, for C, for all of us... He will never lose patience. He loves us in our darkest times... and for that, I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness.