I intended to write this post on the actual V-day, but I was busy turning my house upside down yesterday to clean it... So I'm a day late. (hence the plus one).
Yesterday was the day i've been looking forward to my entire pregnancy. Viability day. Some of you may know this, some of you may not, but there has to be a cut off point where NICU doctor's say, "Your baby is just too little, we can't do anything". Even though she only weighs approximately 1.5-2.2lbs, Baby S is now past that stage. Viability day was yesterday, @ 24 weeks (according to the doctor's due date).
It's really strange to think that if something had happened on Monday, they wouldn't have tried to save her (@ most hospitals). But Thursday comes, and BAM. We're "viable".
Now, we'd prefer if if she cooks another 16 weeks! Every week past this week is more weight for her to gain, more for her lungs (and other systems) to develop. Survival rate @ 24 weeks still isn't great... but it really wasn't all that long ago that people were losing babies @ 30 weeks! The technology that God has blessed us with is truly amazing.
I probably looked forward to this day more than the average pregnant person (and honestly, I held my breath till this day for my sister-in-law's pregnancy, as well as some of my good friends). I attribute this to being a labor and delivery nurse. I've seen too much for my own good. I won't go into gory detail, but i was working on a night when we had a patient come in and deliver @ 22 weeks. While there was no way that baby would have lived (even with medical technology as good as it is), he DID live for several hours. And he was a baby. Not a fetus. It was truly one of the worst days of my life. His face and tiny body are etched in my memory. I am so thankful to God that we've made it this far! Praise Jesus!
Another was when I delivered a lady whose baby had died in utero, 2 weeks before christmas. She was 38 weeks pregnant. There was nothing wrong with her beautiful baby girl...sometimes these things happen... I'm terrified of it happening to me! I often find myself remembering this delivery, which was heartwrenching. (Again I won't go into the details). I have to remind myself, that throughout my daughter's life (whoa, that's weird to be typing... I'm used to BEING a daughter, not HAVING one!), that God is in control. He isn't in MORE control now b/c she is inside me. He will be in JUST as much control when I'm parenting her. When I make mistakes, He is still in the SAME amount of control. We can rely on Him. For everything. He is there with her now, and He will be always. (Just as He is for me). When I remember to remind myself of this, I have so much more peace, and less worry. Thank you Jesus for your goodness, your love, your everlasting peace!
2 weeks ago